Perils of Ordinary Things

We were riding in a car on an icy road, surrounded on both sides by banks of snow and tall straight dark trees. For miles there had been only clouds in the rear view mirror. I kept looking back to see a headlight, perhaps, or the shape of anything.  Suddenly I thought I could see the head of a young man emerging from a house, shutting the screen door behind him, then disappearing for a moment into the clouds. Then there he was again, blowing smoke back into the clouds, his face filling the rear view mirror. It was a lovely face, his hair carefully combed over one eye. He was smiling as if his old man whom he loved was coming home with a pack of cigarettes under his arm, as if his father were climbing six flights of stairs to reach him to share the cigarettes and was joyful to do the climb because of the payoff -- him ! -- at the end of the climb. There was a frightening anticipation in that smile. Then the young man seemed to be suddenly hit by the clouds as if by a large white truck.  

I stepped on the brakes. As the car stopped, I took my hands away from the wheel a moment to rub my eyes, then held my hands up to my ears. "What's wrong?" someone said from inside the car where my heart told me there was no one. 

Trees all around, each of them standing with extreme care. One third of sunlight swallowed in them, the rest ending on flat, ordinary things. 

I stepped out of the car and began walking towards those things. A sorrow filled me. The sorrow gently turned into a slight unease, then a lifting of all negative feeling as the second of only two cars for the last fifty miles whizzed by

Close my eyes, close my eyes, close my eyes, close my eyes, oh and savor this moment. My life will be only this moment. My arms and legs swing on a well-made frame. I move slower than the world around me. Things still aren't done, there is no plan, and you will have rubbed me from your heart by the time that car's brake light turns off and the car makes that bend. "Not complete" or "not even straight" isn't anything to be afraid of. Just close eyes and touch warm vented air.